“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh…" (Romans 8:1-3, NIV)

Some are convinced that we can change by digging up our past. Psychoanalysis, it’s called. Sigmund Freud believed that human behavior is determined by powerful, inner forces which are buried in our subconscious. We suppress all kinds of negative experiences. And Freud’s theory was that if we dig and drill into that dark and hidden past and bring it to light, then healthful change will emerge.

Now, I would think that any loving counselor would ask you what’s happened in your life. But the Bible teaches that the key to change is not necessarily remembering things that may have happened that we have buried within us. The key is facing what we do remember. If it is something bad that we’ve done, receive God’s forgiveness. If it’s something bad someone else has done, forgive it and then forget it. That is, don’t dwell on it. Don’t let it be your life’s focus. Don’t allow it to destroy your peace.

And that’s the order in which it must happen: face, forgive, and forget. Don’t try to forget without forgiving. Don’t try to forgive without facing. But after you face it, by God’s grace you forgive it. And then you forget it.

You are not a victim! Awful things may have happened to you, but they do not have to control you! You may let them control you, but they don’t have that power in themselves. “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Once you are in Christ and continue in that relationship nothing can condemn you, knock you down, or grind you under. You are a child of the Living God! You are not a victim. Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” The answer is: No one can. God is for us!

Romans 8:37 says, "No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Nothing has happened or will happen that, by God's grace, you can't climb on top of and rule over and, in the power of the Holy Spirit, be set free from. But first, we've got to dump faulty plans for change that don't work, like endless digging in the past.

In the initial installment on this topic, last month, we examined how the qualities of agreeableness, a cooperative spirit, and cheerfulness contribute to a Christian’s development of a positive attitude as an attribute of her godliness. In this final installment, we consider the additional concepts of moderation, trust, contentment, positive thinking, and confidence.

Moderation

"Let your moderation be known unto all men" (Phil. 4:5).  The Koine Greek word for moderation denotes appropriate, or mild behavior.  In James 3:17, the same word is translated "gentle."  Perhaps the best definition of this kind of "appropriate behavior" can be found by looking at the context of this last passage in the New American Standard (NAS) version:  "Who among you is wise and understanding?  Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.  But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.  For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.  But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy" (Jas. 3:13-17).  The Christian with this attitude is satisfied with less than her due, "does not take into account a wrong suffered," but is patient, kind, not jealous, and is not easily provoked (1 Cor.13:4-7, NAS).  She does not seek to "get even" or demand recompense when she is slighted (Rom. 12:17-21).  This is appropriate behavior for a Christian.

Trust

"Be anxious for nothing" (Phil. 4:6, NAS).  Anxiety over the issues of this life slowly suffocates spirituality (Mt. 13:22).  It distracts us from our work in the kingdom.  The Lord is very specific in His promises to provide our physical needs if we seek first the kingdom of God, so He urges us,  "Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Mt. 6:33-34).  Consider also Phil. 4:19.  Trust Him to take care of you. "In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." If we do that, He promises in return that "the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7). That is surely worth it!

Contentment

It was the apostle Paul who said, "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content" (Phil. 4:11-12).  Somehow the grass often seems greener on the other side of the fence.  No matter how much we have, we still want more.  "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed, for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions" (Lk. 12:15-21).

Pride gets in the way of contentment and often prevents us from reaching our goals.  Daniel Webster wanted to be President of the United States.  Twice he was invited to serve as Vice President, first by William Henry Harrison, and later by Zachary Taylor, and twice he refused, being too proud to accept less than the highest office in the land.  Harrison and Taylor each went on to be elected President, and each died in office.  Webster could have reached his objective of becoming the President himself, except for his arrogant pride.

Dale Carnegie once observed: 

Success is getting what you want.

Happiness is wanting what you get.

If being filled with Christ is sufficient to a disciple, she can be content, regardless of external circumstances.  But this kind of satisfaction has to be learned and developed.  Human nature is not such that contentment comes naturally.

Positive Thinking

Paul reminded the Philippians that whatever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report – to think on these things (Phil. 4:8).  If we control our thoughts, we can have a happy mind.  "As he thinketh within himself, so is he" (Prov. 23:7).  The mind naturally dwells on those things to which it is most often exposed.  Consider our choices of books, magazines, movies, websites, television shows and music.  Are they spiritually edifying?  Often they are negative, filled with violence, covetousness, dishonesty, constant bickering, profanity, and they glorify sexual immorality.  Instead, why not listen to sermons or hymns, read books and magazines, and visit Internet resources that strengthen us?  Visit sick or elderly sisters who do not have much company.  Take time out to pray every day.  Choose wholesome entertainment.  Consciously doing so will help us reject negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

A principal at an elementary school in Garland, Texas, told of a second grade boy who fell and knocked out a tooth at school.  At recess, the boy fell again and broke his arm.  After the student’s second trip to the doctor that day, the principal decided to take him home before he got himself seriously injured.  On the way home in the car, he notice the child had something clutched in his hand.  He asked him, "What's that you have in your hand, son?"  The boy looked up, grinned, and said, "It's a quarter I found on the playground.  This must be my lucky day."  Now that's a positive mental attitude!

Confidence

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Phil. 4:13).  There’s no negativism in this verse.  Not, "I can't," but "I can."  How many times have you heard a sister say, "I can't be a good Christian, so why try?"  Or, "I just can't stop smoking," or "I can't help myself," or "I just can't change."  The Lord knows what Satan uses to entice us.  He was tempted as we are tempted (Heb. 4:15).  And let's not deceive ourselves.  It is Satan, not God, who tempts us (Jas 1:12-16).  God promises that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear (1 Cor. 10:13).  In Him, we have strength and courage, and "a very present help in time of trouble" (Ps. 46:1).  If we choose to do so, we can have confidence in that.

Spirituality and happy minds go together.  Each of us needs an occasional tune-up in this area.  Some of us may even require a complete overhaul.  Nevertheless, our problems are minor compared to Paul's.  If he maintained a positive mental attitude as an attribute of godliness, surely we can do no less. 

An old slave had defied his master’s order not to read the Bible and was being flogged for it. As the whip cut into his flesh, his owner taunted him with: “What can your Bible do for you now, boy?” “It can teach me to forgive master,” he replied.

It is sometimes more difficult to forget than to remember. But we must learn to forget. “We do not mean literally to forget, but to cease to nurse a grudge, to put the thing behind us, never to be brought up again, no matter what happens in the future.

We need to forget our past failures. Don’t cry over spilled milk; get up and milk the cow again. When you have tried something and failed, learn a lesson from your failure and then forget it.

Some people can never get over a slight by someone or a wrong done to them. The penitentiary is full of people who cannot forget a real or imagined wrong by an individual or society. A man told me that one of the reasons he had never become a Christian was that he could not forgive a wrong done to him. One of the first recorded statements of the Lord was: “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:15). We had better remember that no unforgiving person can have fellowship with a forgiving God.

When Abraham Lincoln was President, he was bitterly criticized by Edward McMasters Stanton. He called Lincoln a “low cunning clown,” the “original gorilla.” Stanton was a Democrat, but after the attack on Ft. Sumter, Lincoln appointed him Secretary of War because Stanton was a loyal man and qualified for the job. Lincoln was more concerned for the country than for Stanton’s opinion of him. When Mr. Stanton looked into the rugged and homely face of Lincoln after he was killed, he remarked in subdued tones of respect, “There lies the greatest leader this country has ever known.” Would it not be nice if Christians would put the interest of the Lord’s work and His church before their own petty little injuries? We could use a lot of real men and women who have Lincoln's spirit concerning this matter.

A little girl was asked to define forgiveness. She said in substance, “I don’t know the definition, but it is like this: when you crush a rose, the only resistance it offers is a sweet fragrance.”

Paul might have remembered the ill-treatment he received at Philippi, but instead, he said: “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mind for you all making request with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now” (Philippians 1:3-4).